You may express gender in a way that differs from how you feel on the inside. This expression includes the name and pronoun you use, your style of dress, voice or hairstyle. Gender expression may be referred to as masculine, feminine or androgynous. You may change how you express yourself depending on the situation you are in, such as at school or work, home alone, out with friends.
When you are transgender, also known as trans, your gender identity doesn't match the sex that you were assigned at birth (usually male or female).
The realization that you are trans can happen in an instant or unfold over many years. Some people know from a young age that the gender they have been assigned doesn't fit with who they really are. Other people come to this realization as adults.
Sometimes a person experiences so much discomfort or distress because their gender identity and the sex they were assigned at birth are different; they decide to explore medical options like hormone therapy or gender-affirming surgeries. These medical options often provide significant comfort.
Sexual orientation and gender identity aren't the same thing. Everyone has both a gender identity and a sexual orientation. Like anybody, trans people may identify as straight, pansexual, queer, asexual, bisexual, lesbian, gay or something else.
Remember: You are not alone
Whatever your gender identity, it's important to realize that there are lots of people like you. Many of them have the same emotions and questions that you have. The pressure and stress caused by feeling alone and sad can lead to depression. Depression can be mild or severe. In its most severe form, depression can lead to suicide. For more information about depression, see Depression or Depression in Children and Teens.
It can be comforting and helpful to talk to people who know what you're going through. You can find these people through local or online groups. If you don't know where to find support, check with:
- Your health care provider.
- Your school counsellor or trusted teacher.
- A therapist or other counsellor.
- Your parent or caregiver, if you feel comfortable.
- Websites and online organizations.
Why is it important to understand stress and know how to cope with it?
Stress is a fact of life. Most of us have periods of stress at various times in our lives. But extra stress can have a serious effect on your health, especially if it lasts for a long time.
If your trans identity is known to others, you may be under a lot of extra stress because of discrimination in the community. If your trans identity is not known to others you may feel shame, guilt or other negative emotions when you consider the possibility that you might be trans. Rejection, prejudice, fear, and confusion cause long-term stress in many trans people.
Constant stress can be linked to headaches, an upset stomach, back pain, and trouble sleeping. It can weaken your immune system, so that you have a harder time fighting off disease. If you already have a health problem, stress may make it worse. It can make you moody, tense, or depressed. Depression can lead to suicide. Teens with depression are at particularly high risk for suicide and suicide attempts.
People who are under long-term stress are also more likely to smoke tobacco, drink alcohol heavily, and use other drugs. These habits can lead to serious health problems.
It's important to recognize the effects that stress can have on your life, to learn how to cope with stress, and to know when to get help. For more information, see the topic Stress Management.
How can you support someone who is transgender?
- Learn all you can about trans issues.
- Learn to use the right pronouns ("he," "him," "she," "her," "they," "them"). Don't be afraid to ask which pronouns the person prefers.
- If the person is changing their name, use that new name when you talk to or about the person.
- Make sure you get support and information. Supporting someone who is trans may be a new experience for you and it might not be easy at first.
For more information, see the topics:
Common Questions About Sexual Orientation.