Child Development Series
HealthLink BC File #92d, January 2011

Toilet Training

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There is no set age for toilet training. Toilet training can be a positive experience. Your child will discover a new skill and feel a sense of accomplishment. Start only when your child shows you she is ready.

When is a child ready?

Most children learn to use the toilet between the ages of 24 and 48 months. Staying dry all night often takes longer, sometimes up to six years of age or older.

Your child may be ready for toilet training if you answer 'yes' to most of the questions below:

• Does your child stay dry for a few hours at a time or occasionally wake up dry after a nap?
• Does your child know when he is about to urinate or have a bowel movement?
• Can he follow simple directions such as "Let's go to the toilet?"
• Can he let you know when he needs to use the toilet?
• Is your child able to pull down pants and underwear without help?

The final step is an ability to communicate. Your child should be able to follow simple directions and communicate basic needs, such as "I am hungry" or "Come to the bathroom."

Remember that toilet training is not about the parent being sensitive to their child's body and then placing them on the potty in time. Toilet training is the child learning to:

• Recognize when she is about to urinate or have a bowel movement;
• Communicate what is about to happen and seek your help if necessary; and
• Control that urge until she gets seated on the potty.

Your child is ready for toilet training when he or she is willing, physically capable of controlling elimination, and able to communicate and ask for help.

Do not pressure your child to use the toilet. Rushing the process may make it more difficult and frustrating for both of you. Be patient - your child is learning a new skill.

Introduce the Idea

Buy a potty chair and put it in the bathroom next to the toilet, or get a toilet seat that fits on top of the regular seat. Make sure the seat is stable and provide a solid step stool for your child to use to get up onto the toilet. You can explain - "When you are a big girl, you will want to use the potty just like Mom or Dad uses the toilet."

When she shows some interest in toilet training, you can invite her to join you in the bathroom. Sit reading a magazine -offer her a favourite book to read. You are teaching her to relax and let nature take its course. Do not rush her.

At some point, your child will want to sit on the potty or use the toilet just like you. This idea of wanting to be like an adult can be a great motivator for toddlers. Children with older siblings or those in daycare often train themselves.

Toilet Training

Although some children learn to control both bowel movements and urination at the same time, controlling urination is harder. Be patient and keep the diapers on until your child is ready.

Children differ in their willingness to give up diapers. Some children will feel more secure wearing them at night for a long time after they routinely stay dry. Others are so sure of themselves that they refuse to wear them after a week of success. This is related to their readiness for this accomplishment.

Talk about it and keep the potty handy. It is a very short time at first, from the time she feels the urge to urinate until the time she must go to the bathroom.

Encourage and praise your child's actions and successes. Focus your praise on the action rather than 'being good'. Use comments such as "Great that you had a pee on the potty!" rather than "Good boy."

Here are some suggestions to help your child start using the toilet:

• Wait for a stable time in your child's life to get started.
• Use reminders, such as "It is potty time."
• Give praise for action, such as "It is great you went pee in the potty chair" rather than "good girl."
• Encourage your child to sit on the potty chair. Keep the potty chair next to the toilet.
• Children are also often frightened by a flushing toilet so be sensitive to this when you empty the potty. Strange toilets often frighten young children. Pack the potty along until they are comfortable using the bathroom away from home.

Helping Your Child Succeed

During the first year, bowel and bladder training are easily disrupted. Changes, such as moving to a new house, starting playschool, or especially experiencing the arrival of a new baby, can send a toddler back to diapers. Praise your child's efforts and try not to be upset over accidents. With this kind of acceptance, your child will try to use the toilet again after she adjusts to any changes in her life. Accidents will happen. Even older children forget to use the toilet, especially if they are sick or very involved in play. Always carry a spare set of clothes.

Call your doctor or health professional if your child does not use the toilet during the day by 4 years of age or continues to soil pants after 5 years of age.

For more information, see additional HealthLink BC Files on child development:

92a Your Child and Play
92b Your Child's Development
92c Your Child's Feelings
92e Time for Bed

Complete List of HealthLink BC File Topics